I am terrible at asking. Like, just really really bad. I live sometimes in this fantasy land where I shouldn’t have to ask for anything. I live in the world where if I sit on my hands and am just good enough someone will notice and I will get what I need.

I know women who didn’t have to query agents for years before they got representation, who just got an email one day, Hey! Would you like to write a book? I wanted that to be my story. That isn’t my story. I pounded on that door for a long time.

I know women who were plucked out of their congregations or Bible studies, told YOU are a LEADER, COME SPEAK. And I sat on my hands and tried to not say one more thing but may have ended up saying two more things for years before I pulled my hands from beneath me and pointed at myself. Me. I am called to lead, to speak, to preach. I wanted it to be someone else, but it had to be me first. Here I am Lord. Pick me.

I ended up in the dean of student’s office ugly crying and saying, I needed more help. With a few clicks and an email I got it. I just had to ask. Then Christian got a job 7 days after the deadline I gave God (y’all, that maybe isn’t the best idea…). We are staying. Everyone has a school to go to. We looked at the budget and the assistance I am getting and realized we were still short.

I don’t need to make a lot, but I do need to make enough. Currently, I don’t. I pulled out the calendar and blocked off this time and that time and realized how little time I was about to have for my family, and for my writing. I have always hustled pretty hard, but this is a whole new level, one I’m not sure is physically possible.

So, I am asking.

I started a Patreon account and for five dollars a month, you can get an update from me about what seminary is like, and what specific shape my faith crisis is taking that month (I’ve heard that happens a lot. I guess we’ll find out together). For ten I will tell you before everyone but my mom any big news I might have (book! baby! new dog! who knows? hopefully not the baby though). For fifty I will paint you a picture. Every month.

Mostly, if I can get to even 500 dollars it would provide enough breathing room for me and my family that I could for sure keep writing at least a few times a week. I could engage with my followers, I could keep on keeping on. Please consider signing on.

Always, thank you. Thank you for walking with me. Cheering me on. Praying for me and my family. Your support of this blog, my thoughts, my gifts, have gotten me to seminary in the first place. I am so very grateful for everything you have already done.

Here is my patreon. If you can’t donate, please consider sharing?