May You Be Kind

My girls are getting older.

With Juliet in Pre-k five days a week, and Priscilla having a social schedule that a debutante would be proud of, it has become blatantly obvious that they have their own tiny lives. They know songs I did not teach them. They spout new knowledge I did not teach them. They love people I do not even know the names of.

As the control is beginning to slip through my loosened fingers, I became even more aware of the things that I want for them. I want warm smiles and lots of people who love them. I want challenges they can conquer, tiny mountains they can climb and declare every day, ” I am brave, I am strong, I am capable.” I want laughter, and singing, and a time to rest. (Did you hear that Priscilla? I want you to take a nap, everyday, so I can see you when I get home in non-melt-down-mode.)

I hope that they are brave. I hope that they are smart. I hope that they are funny. I hope that they are well spoken. I hope that they are bold and gentle all at the same time. I hope that they know just how beautiful they are, how wonderful they are, how loved they are.

But above all, I hope that my daughters are kind. 

I see in my own classroom, every day, how rare that is, how important that is, how truly counter-cultural. I suppose that if the day every came where it was their faith or their life, I would hope that my girls would proclaim their faith. But I hope they don’t wait for the day when their lives are on the line. I hope that their little lives every day speak to the goodness of our God.

And most of all I hope that they are kind. I hope that they make room at their lunch table for the new kids, the shy kid, the kid without any other friends. I hope they are kind to their teachers, especially the new ones who are making a lot of mistakes even an elementary-schooler can tell are mistakes. I hope they are kind to the kid who is getting the whole class in trouble, and the kid who has trouble making friends. I hope they are kind to the kids who are mean . And I really hope they are not the kids who are mean.

I hope they forgive, again and again and say things like, You can sit with me. You can be in our group. Would you like to play with us?

I have learned, in my classroom, in my world, that a kind gesture speaks more boldly than a mission trip t-shirt ever will. I have learned that consistent kindness is often far harder than bold witness. I have learned it stays longer. It often means more.

I will, of course, be proud of my daughters when they ace their spelling test, when they score the winning goal, when they steal the show, but I will be especially proud when I learn they have been kind, to a stranger, to a teacher, to a kid who really needed some kindness.

My dear girls, may you be exceptionally kind. 


10 thoughts on “May You Be Kind

  1. Amen!! I love the part about hoping their lives proclaim it every day instead of the doomsday “faith v life” scenario. Beautiful writing.

  2. Amen, amen. A friend put this on her Facebook status yesterday – she’s a gifted music teacher and she said her favorite thing from the 1st day was this: a 5th grade boy came up to her after music class and said, “My sister is in 1st grade and she’s just starting here. Her name is ______. Would you look for her when she comes in and see if she is doing okay?” Oh, my heart. The sweetest thing I read all week. Love your blessing/prayer for your sweet girls, Abby. Thank you.

  3. Amen. Yes to this. I pray this for my girls too, not only at school everyday, but at home with each other. And may I parent with kindness too. Amen.

  4. Once again I am moved to tears by the truth you speak here- kindness gives us more mileage than just about anything else. I am sure your daughters ARE kind since they have you as a role model!

  5. So lovely. I have recently been thinking about how rude and mean people are on the Internet and wondering if people are really so generally unkind and just hide it in “real life”. I hope our kids will interact with people with more love and kindness and grace. Great post!

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