I was pretty much done in today. Christian leaves for the National Communication Conference next week. Last night we started doing the text/facebook/phone call asking that needs to be done when we need extra babysitting. I am very very lucky to have such great people in my life that are ready and able to watch my girls. But I still hate asking them. I know that being a stay at home mom is hard work without two extra kiddos. I know that the flex-day middle of the week time is precious to a working mom. If only I had made other choices I wouldn’t have to depend on these very generous people.
All of this plus a whole lot of big feelings about how the word called is often used as a sword when it should be a plowshare. It doesn’t take a genius to see the power structures at play when you look at the patterns of who gets called called. I mean the only thing the church has called me to is motherhood, and here I am calling around trying to put that on other women in my life….and I was fired up, and sad.
But then, but then my dear friend Esther told me she wrote something and it might be for me. And then I ugly cried at my desk. I don’t have to be called called by anyone other than the one who already did. Esther is brilliant. Just go read it.