Today at church the Peanut was in rare form. I suppose I should have suspected something was likely to go down when I was forced to wrangle her curls into a ponytail while she was playing the piano running herself and her hands up and down the keyboard. I may have threatened a buzz cut.
After the first song she yelled “All Done!” I was grateful it was a light crowd. As much as I want to let the minors be minor and allow my kid the space to be whoever it is she wants to be, there is a nagging suspicion that EVERYONE is watching you and EVERYONE is judging you and behind EVERY SINGLE smile from a mom who has been through it too there is actually a thought of Abby needs to get it together. That family is a mess, her daughter is unruly and she better step it up!
I am aware that this is not in fact what is racing through people’s heads…mostly…but in the moment it is certainly how it feels.
Anyway. We were singing Break Every Chain. I love this song. Normally songs with that much repetition make me want to die a little bit (In the early 2000’s did anyone else sing the refrain for “I could sing of your love forever” so many times you thought the worship team might be taking it literally?) but not this one. There is power in the name of Jesus. I need that reminder on a regular basis. Like as often as I need to breathe.
That song goes into the rotation exactly when I need it. I have sung those words as a declaration in my own life, over others homes, when I am fasting for change, and even when I wasn’t sure I believed them. Quietly from my seat with my head down, loudly with my hands over my head I have sung those words. Break every chain, break every chain, break every chain.
But I have never sung those words, tears streaming down my face… from laughter. I am not sure what got into her this morning. In an attempt to get the Peanut to tune into the worship I was modeling some dance moves, hands above my head swaying, knees bending to the rhythm, even spinning in a small circle. Half way through the first chorus the Peanut takes the invitation to dance, grabs the seat in front of us and drops it like it’s hot. There was some serious booty shaking going on. So much so that me and her aunt had to cover our mouths we were laughing so hard.
As soon as that got under control the Peanut decided that the song was not up to par and began singing (loudly) all the verses to “The Wheels on the Bus” with motions and everything. I tried to redirect her but she took my clapping hands and made them goswish swish swishall through the town. And I was laughing so hard I was crying.
Still, in the background, me sitting on the ground laughing as my church cries out “There is Power in the Name of Jesus.” In that moment it was a realization. Today, those words were celebration. So my kid is a nutcase, my pants are wrinkly and I am exhausted from the party I threw for Christian’s birthday. There is Power in the Name of Jesus, and that power can be claimed right now in this moment. It is beautiful, it is joyful, it is beautiful right now. Just like my two-year-old.