Mommy Wars, what’s up with that?

I am so annoyed with myself right now. And it isn’t because I am freaking out about next fall, or even next week (but seriously y’all I find out if I teach summer school on Friday….so pray for that would you?). It is because I let myself get sucked into a mommy war.

Okay, hear me out. Christian stays home with the Peanut on the days he isn’t working….and he is out for the summer so that is everyday right now. Anyway there was this hilarious set of questions posted in this article from a mom who felt like sometimes her husband didn’t get how being home with a two-year-old day in and out could possibly be that hard. I mean he has to go to work every day. Seriously, it is hilarious go read it.

Christian and I have talked about how hard it can be staying home, isolating, tedious, and exhausting while totally intellectually boring all at the same time. This isn’t to say that it also isn’t awesome, and he does feel super lucky to be able to spend so much time with our daughter. And I get jealous sometimes when I get excited about some new thing she is doing, and I learn she has been doing it for a week. But there are days when I am sure he wishes it was him rushing out of the house and me going into the nursery to peel the pee-soaked pajamas off our daughter and throw the sheets in the wash. (She soaks through more often then not, and this is now the only reason she wakes up at night. Anyone got any tips?)

So I thought that he would appreciate the article, and he totally did. We laughed. But then I made the mistake of reading some of the 100+ comments. And this totally tongue in cheek somehow got the stay at home vs. working mom fans flamed. And then, one of the comments got under my skin and I was all “this lady doesn’t even know me how does she know I am not giving it my all. How dare she think that I get to sleep through the night just because I am a working mom. Why would she say she is giving 100 percent everyday to being a mom? Is she trying to say that I am not 100 percent a mom, just because I work?”

Slow down sister. This lady doesn’t know me, which means she isn’t talking about me. So get it together mommy. Turns out the person who is talking is just reacting to what she felt like was someone saying that her situation wasn’t difficult or valid. She wasn’t saying my life isn’t difficult. She was talking about her but I was reacting as though she was talking about me. And I put a defensive comment down, and then someone called me out on it, then I had to defend it.

But it made me start thinking about the “mommy wars.” And how these wars only exist online. I have never seen a mommy war in real life. All the stay at home moms I know are totally supportive of me and my situation. And have even sat for us when we are in a pinch. And I have never thought “what are you whining about” when the plethora of stay at homes I know are describing a particularly hard day or a specific issue they are having. We are all in this together. We recognize everyones life is hard. Because being a parent, while being incredibly rewarding, is hard. But online….somehow it all gets messed up. I don’t get that. And I really hate that today I somehow got sucked into it.

2 thoughts on “Mommy Wars, what’s up with that?

  1. have you considered trying 1) a larger diaper size at night 2) the extra inserts available for extra absorption or 3) (gasp if you will) a disposable diaper at night that will keep her feeling drier so she doesn't wake up? Just trying to brainstorm with you as a fellow mommy. We didn't do cloth, but I found Josiah's soak throughs happened more often as we reached the end of a diaper size.

  2. Yeah we do a disposable at night. (You know I am not super hard core about cloth, more about the money than the enviroment.)I probably should go up for night because she doesn't soak through Sean's diapers when I have forgotten to pack enough for her. I can't believe she fits into Sean's diapers…..

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