I’ve been praying a lot since my last posts. About the twins mostly, when where, this time? Lord how long? And repeatedly I hear God tell me. “Pray for my mercy.” So I am. I am crying out to God that He would have mercy on me. When I try to pray for the twins directly or ask God when or what to name this one if it is a singular, I get this: Pray for my mercy.
This is what I know about God’s mercy. It is good, I live in it. It is different than God’s grace. But I don’t deserve it either. Last summer, shortly after I had Juliet I got an email that I was being surplussed. I would no longer be working at the school I was familiar with. Along with a new baby, I would have a new school in the fall. All my co-workers, my support system would be gone just when I needed them most. At least that is how I interpreted the move. While I do miss my co-workers very much, the move was merciful. My new school is a better fit for me in so many ways. Turns out as I was being a spoiled brat to God, letting Him know that I wanted what I wanted and hadn’t He put enough on my plate, this is RIDICULOUS! It took about 8 hours at my current school for God to show me just how merciful He had been.
The Lord’s mercy doesn’t always look like I think it will. But sometimes it does. Like an impressionist painting, it is often only a picture we understand when we are able to take a step back from the situation. But sometimes it is as clear as a photograph. I suppose I will have to continue to pray for His mercy, and trust that my God is both merciful, and smarter than me.
What has God’s mercy looked like in your life? Has it ever been something you initially were unhappy about?