Your First Name is NOT Someone

Dear Over achiever, over committer, chronic over estimator of the minutes in a day,

I just need to tell you this one thing. Your first name is not someone. It isn’t. Someone needs to volunteer for to teach Sunday school, and someone needs to host small group. Someone needs to serve communion and someone needs to clean it up. That is all true. Someone needs to do all that. You are not all of those someones. You might not even be some of those someones. You might be none of those someones. That is okay.

Mostly, I am writing this for myself. I am a chronic over committer. I always underestimate how much time something is going to take. Always. So much so, that when I volunteer for something at church my pastor and the church administrator make me think about it for 24 hours, or publish it in the church newsletter anyway and see who else might volunteer. (Shout out to healthy pastoral care practices!)

Someone also is not your name in your home. Someone does need to do the grocery shopping and the laundry and make sure that the kids bathe at least semi regularly. Someone does need to find their shoes. That someone may not be you. They may be able to find their own shoes, a caper chart may remind them that they take a bath on Wednesday instead of their standard binge watching Girl Meets World. Someone does need to go grocery shopping and if you find it relaxing to wander up and down those aisles (I do. Don’t judge. But do send me on an all expensive paid vacation so I can have higher standards.) then by all means you are the someone. BUT if you hate it, it doesn’t have to always be your turn.

It isn’t good for you to always be the someone, and it isn’t the best thing for your community either. Your first grader needs to take responsibility for her own stuff. Your community at church needs to pull their own weight. Maybe a program that you have been hooking up to life support just needs to die. It might be painful, but it might be time. Everyone needs a someone in their life, but everyone needs to BE the someone too.

Your name is not someone. Please act accordingly.

Sincerely,

A chronic someone.

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