I am up at the Mudroom today. That space is just so special to me. I messed up my post a few months ago and texted Tammy: I am sorry I am making this hard. And she texted me back: I believe you are worth it. I still get teary thinking about that. I want to create spaces where instead of saying: No problem! When it was clearly a problem, I say: You are worth my trouble. She is that kind of leader.
I wrote this month about sacrifice. It was pointed out to me about a year ago that I will sacrifice my whole self and all my happiness on my principles, and while noble, maybe that wasn’t the best way to live my life. Maybe there was a way to have my principles AND my happiness. Maybe God didn’t want me to be miserable as a permanent life choice. I wrote about that this month. Maybe you need to hear that too?
Let me just let you know up front: God isn’t asking you to bleed out. I do not believe that God is asking you to just sit there and take it, whatever it is.
God is not asking you to bleed out slowly as you turn pale and feel the life slowly leaking out of you. That is not God who is asking you to stay there and die. Bad theology might be asking you to do that. Or fear, or shame or something someone told you about expectations and being a good . . . girl, wife, teacher, something. You don’t have to sacrifice your whole being to be good.