My posts for SheLoves are due the fifteenth every month, so when I wrote this I was sure my waiting for a job for Christian would be all done by the time this came up. I could not have been more wrong.
We are still waiting to see where God wants us next Fall. With the location comes questions about what exactly I will be doing. There is still a lot up in the air. Way more than I thought would be. I am coveting your prayers that I may be extra gentle with myself and my family and that we would get news soon. Turns out the you at the beginning of this post is me.
Hey You, the one who is waiting.
I just want to let you know that I see you. I see that you are waiting. I see that you have been waiting. I see that you don’t see an end to your waiting and I wish I could tell you that I see the end. But I don’t.
So instead, can I just sit here with you? Hold your hand? Rub your back? Not touch you at all because that is really the last thing you need right now? I brought chocolate. I probably don’t have any good words. What words are there to say? You are waiting. And it totally sucks. Waiting is the worst.
I hate waiting because I suffer from chronic do-er syndrome, and there isn’t a whole lot of doing in waiting. It is really all about being. So I will try my best to be here with you as you wait for it to start, or finish, or for you to know what your next step is. Let’s just be together. Here. In the land of the waiting.
When I was pregnant with my second child I started having contractions three weeks before she was actually born. Three weeks. I was so uncomfortable I really could not be nice enough to my students to teach them. Plus I was totally terrified that I would give birth on the side of the road if I braved my terrible commute. So I started my maternity leave early and I waited. And waited. And waited.