I often compare my state in this world currently to attempting to tread water in the ocean. Wave after wave it never seems to end. It was like that again this weekend.Sunday I wasn’t exactly sure how I was going to get through the week. A Monday “workday” where no work got done because we had to be in meeting after meeting didn’t help my head for the week. Then I woke up with a head cold at four this morning. Awesome.
I had no idea how I was going to make it through the day, especially considering that I was scheduled to babysit tonight until Christian got home from class at around 10. Then, when I checked to see if I could get coverage to leave at noon, I got a distinct “sorry.” Subs have been a little sparse.
I am not quite sure how it all came together, but I had 3 people at work offer to cover my classes, Elizabeth found coverage for her job and offered to take my girls until Christian got home, and Betsy (who is staying with us for a while) had cleaned my pantry, and done the grocery shopping for the week.
All of a sudden the ocean was more like a wave pool. A wave pool that had suddenly been drained. I was sitting on my kitchen floor with the a nap being the only thing on my to do list. I literally did not know how to feel secure.
When I woke up from my nap brownies were done and my house smelled like the casserole that was about to go in the oven. There was enough being made that I have lunch tomorrow.
I felt good enough to pick up the girls. They were dressed in borrowed pajamas having just gotten out of the bath. The Peanut’s hair smelled heavenly. I felt so deeply loved.
If I am honest, I am wrestling with that a little tonight. Love can be so humbling, disarming. I think I have put on the armor of tired and too much to do and crawling out of it I feel a little bit vulnerable, a whole lot freer.
Thank you for the mercy friends, the grace, the love in the doing. I am not sure I am accepting it gracefully, but I am trying.